Salam
The title of my post today is "what would you do if you are in my shoes?"
So who am I?
1) an old teacher/ father / lecturer in a new univ 30 years younger than the established 3 RU in Malaysia
1.1 I can write a bit
1.2 I can write something on maths in computer
1.3 I cannot push yet my name into an established journal CBL computer based learning
2) the eldest son of a 75 old mother
2.1 should I visit her more and more
2.2 should I treat her KFC/ McD/ just nasi kerabu hitam , telur masin
2.3 should I upgrade her well being ? There was a story/ a man bathe his mum .. dukung her .. everywwhere/ stop working .. just to take care of his sicked mum // lastly he was rewarded a heaven 10 times the size of this dunia
2.4 should I learn to speak softer, politer to her ..more and more?
3) A dad of 6 children. The youngest of which wanted to do something .. hard .. architecture ..knowing that this profession depends on the economy of the country. I asked her to do medicine/ dentist. The argument was ..as long as there are people on this earth , a doctor/dentist won;t walk empty handed after their varsity days. I also suggested her to take taeching .. why? as lonmg as the parents keep on producing children .. these children needs you teachers. So there is job .. my daughter. Achitect? it depends on the housing industries/ if the economy is good, as long as people keep building more homes, schools, apartments, buildings after buildings ..there is demand for architect. But if the economy is poor, poorer and poorest .. I see a black future to that ..specially trained architect inspite of expensive tools during the 4-5 year course in UM, UIA , UITM or UTM.
Tell me please. Advice me. TQ.
Wasallam.
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Q1) to publish successfully, a researcher needs to find his niche. what's ur niche? what differentiates ur research from others? if u're doing CBL, how can u contribute to the domain of knowledge, specifically? highlighting ur niche is a way to fortify ur contribution in shaa Allah. consequently, making ur paper more compelling to be published in high impact journals.
Q2) do whatever u can to please ur mom as long as it does not defy islam. observe the superlative *sebaik-baiknya* in the quranic excerpt below. be kind with ur words with her. it is said that the *redha* of Allah swt follows closely to that of one's mother.
17:23 Dan Tuhanmu telah memerintahkan supaya kamu jangan menyembah selain Dia dan hendaklah kamu berbuat baik pada ibu bapakmu dengan *sebaik-baiknya*. Jika salah seorang di antara keduanya atau kedua-duanya sampai berumur lanjut dalam pemeliharaanmu, maka sekali-kali janganlah kamu mengatakan kepada keduanya perkataan "ah" dan janganlah kamu membentak mereka dan ucapkanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia.
Q3) ask your daughter to pray istiharah regarding her choice and urge her to trust the guidance given by Allah swt.
architecture is a glamorous vocation when u're at the top but it requires a LOT of sacrifice. i had many friends who were once architects. if she's okay with the idea of sleeping at the studio in keeping up with the insane project deadline, then it's okay. she may have to juggle between her marriage life and work almost all the time as well.
your daughter is old enough to make her own decision. u can give ur counsel but she has to decide, eventually. the best advice is asking her to act in accordance with the petunjuk from Allah swt. to do that, istiharah is key.
wallahualam.